The Lord said he was going to start with His house, and He was not lying. EVERYTHING that can be shaken, will be. I did not make it through the sifting of the wheat and tares, matter of fact, I ran away from my faith with my whole being after an event in my life. The hilarious part, simultaneously the heart shattering part, is to find that no matter how stupid I am, and how vehemently I question Him, He listens, and He answers. He isn't a genie in a bottle, He's not concerned with appearances. He also doesn't tell me everything I want to know, and He's normally is opposition to what I want. Hence, my tantrum this last year and a half as I had the audacity to believe Him to be unfaithful due to the pain and suffering of those around me. He doesn't flinch though. He doesn't get offended when I question Him, because He's not surprised that I am.
However, from what I can understand, He does require those that believe to respond to His leading to the very best of our ability in all areas. And that is where I fell off, or where I saw my immense limitations, your call. This year has taught me so much I never wanted to learn, and also everything I needed to. He loves me, even when I don't act like I love Him, because He is faithful, even when I'm not. I want to love God more than anything, but right now, I don't seem to love Him enough. And He understands. The God who created ALL things, that can do anything, wants a relationship with flawed humans. Humans who haven't personally seen Him, but know of His mercy and love, because that was His plan for the world. I don't personally approve of that plan, and it does not matter. Truth doesn't need anyone to believe in it for it to be true. Lord, please open our eyes and soften our hearts. We need you, even if we think we don't. Let's not put a box around that which we don't truly understand. Let God be God. Or don't.
Regardless, start with me.
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